My Hatred for Dave Matthews

I'm not the type of person who will judge another person from their musical tastes. That being said, every time I meet someone new, the first question that always comes to mind to ask is, "What kind of music do you listen to?"

Now, I know that question is a bit on the broad side, but you can find out a lot about a person by just finding out what they listen to. Usually, they fit into a social hierarchy of music. I only call it this because the faces and the groans that I have gotten in my lifetime for liking one band or another made me begin to adapt this sort of barbaric understanding.

It all started when I was in the Eigth grade. It was a time for beginnings and understanding a view of music that one would probably adapt for the rest of their lives. I, on the other hand, was on the range between everclear and The Backstreet Boys. Don't get me wrong, those were the bands of choice back in 1997 (10 years ago. Doesn't that date me). I was covering one side of the spectrum to the other when it came to pop music. However, there was one side that I refuse to participate in and that side was called Dave Matthews Band.

Usually, you will see me calling Dave Matthews Band the music of the devil. That is because I have always hated this stupid guy. It's not like I have given them a chance. I've probably heard Crash and that Ants Marching song a billion times. I just never really got into them. I had my ways, I was 14 for crying out loud. I didn't like Dave and I was pretty sure that I would never like Dave. That was until all my friends mocked me for not liking Dave.

"How can you not like Dave Matthews Band? Everyone loves Dave Matthews Band.

Guess what, kiddies? I didn't. And from 8th grade onto my senior year of high school, I couldn't get enough of my ridicule. Maybe it was from my suburban upbringing that I had to endure the number of stoner kids who would wear Birkenstocks in their developement homes and listen to jam bands like Phish or Jerry Garcia. It was Dave Matthews and that stupid Holden Caufield from Catcher in the Rye that basically ruled over my changing tastes in music.

I became so avid of my hatred for Dave Matthews that I began asking "Do you like Dave Matthews?" rather than "What kind of music do you listen to?" My concept of social hierarchy went from "punk,""hipster,""ghetto fabulous rap guy," to "Dave Matthews lover," and "Dave Matthews Hater." I, of course, was a hater.

Now at a budding age of 22, I still hate Dave Matthews band and anyone who does is left in my own social category. Let's just say that if this was India, you wouldn't dare talk let alone breathe near a Dave Matthews fan. Way to go! Keep on wearing your tie-dyed shirts and pookah shell beads. Don't forget your ipods filled with the sweet melodies of Dave Matthews Band.

Ew. I'm sorry if I offended you, but you offended me first.