Stealing the King of Shit's throne.

According to TIME, the authors of Holy Blood and the Holy Grail are trying to sue Dan Brown again. If you don't know who Dan Brown is, then you only need to head to your favorite bookstore and check out the heaping pile of paginated dung that is The Davinci Code.

Both Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh believe that Brown stole the ideas for his fictional work from their own book and in turn want to steal some of Brown's thunder. But mostly his money. What do the courts have to say about this?

The outcome, however, was the same. You can't call dibs on an idea. "Everybody is allowed to have ideas, so there's no legal protection for them," says legal commentator Ian Caplin.

Sorry guys. Better luck next time. But probably not.

So we have a victory for Brown and a loss for the poor historians who forgot to have a character jump out of the shadows and reveal something important at the end of each of their chapters. It's really a huge shame, and here's why:

You need to wonder what the state of academic historical work has come to when some of it's best selling authors are so willing to attach their name to an intellectually insulting piece of literature like The Davinci Code. Sure, it's made a buttload of money but come the fuck on. It's awful. It's like being envious of the dumbest, and ugliest kid in the class. Unfortunately, these guys are tools of the highest order.

But it's a nightmare for writers who deal with the facts, say Baigent and Leigh. "Today is an ominous one for those who wish to research a book of their own and come up with their own theories," they said in a statement. "It is a carte blanche for those who would rather not bother, but simply take another author's ideas and adapt them."

NOTE: Now, I want you to know that as I write the following statements in DEFENSE of Dan Brown my stomach is turning. The little bit food that I do have sitting in my stomach is trying to see how far it can jump. Keep that in mind. Please.

Baigent and Leigh are idiots. They have pretty much put their finger on the pulse of one of art's most important elements and declared it DOA. How about that famous saying, "Talent borrows, genius steals?" What about that, you guys? Brown had every right to take previously expressed theories and use them in his work. It's like if I wanted to write a short story about how Michael Jordan travelled to far off planets to play intergalactic basketball to save the earth. I can do that because I have Space Jam to springboard off of. Yeah... just like that.

The argument that these guys are presenting is absurd and they ought to be slapped.

But don't get me wrong. Dan Brown is still fucking awful. I was lucky enough to be able to borrow a previously purchased copy of the novel, but I still want my fucking $10.50 back for that piece of shit movie.

And as far as borrowing and stealing content goes...

I haven't read the historical work of Baigent and Leigh but considering what a perversion of literature The Davinci Code is, I would say that it's probably more like Brown raped Holy Blood and the Holy Grail of its content. But just like the attention seeking, slutty highschool cheerleader who gets involved with the head quarter-back , I bet they were asking for it. And, as everyone knows, in the world of Christian conspiracy theory - no means yes.