Stealing the King of Shit's throne.

According to TIME, the authors of Holy Blood and the Holy Grail are trying to sue Dan Brown again. If you don't know who Dan Brown is, then you only need to head to your favorite bookstore and check out the heaping pile of paginated dung that is The Davinci Code.

Both Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh believe that Brown stole the ideas for his fictional work from their own book and in turn want to steal some of Brown's thunder. But mostly his money. What do the courts have to say about this?

The outcome, however, was the same. You can't call dibs on an idea. "Everybody is allowed to have ideas, so there's no legal protection for them," says legal commentator Ian Caplin.

Sorry guys. Better luck next time. But probably not.

So we have a victory for Brown and a loss for the poor historians who forgot to have a character jump out of the shadows and reveal something important at the end of each of their chapters. It's really a huge shame, and here's why:

You need to wonder what the state of academic historical work has come to when some of it's best selling authors are so willing to attach their name to an intellectually insulting piece of literature like The Davinci Code. Sure, it's made a buttload of money but come the fuck on. It's awful. It's like being envious of the dumbest, and ugliest kid in the class. Unfortunately, these guys are tools of the highest order.

But it's a nightmare for writers who deal with the facts, say Baigent and Leigh. "Today is an ominous one for those who wish to research a book of their own and come up with their own theories," they said in a statement. "It is a carte blanche for those who would rather not bother, but simply take another author's ideas and adapt them."

NOTE: Now, I want you to know that as I write the following statements in DEFENSE of Dan Brown my stomach is turning. The little bit food that I do have sitting in my stomach is trying to see how far it can jump. Keep that in mind. Please.

Baigent and Leigh are idiots. They have pretty much put their finger on the pulse of one of art's most important elements and declared it DOA. How about that famous saying, "Talent borrows, genius steals?" What about that, you guys? Brown had every right to take previously expressed theories and use them in his work. It's like if I wanted to write a short story about how Michael Jordan travelled to far off planets to play intergalactic basketball to save the earth. I can do that because I have Space Jam to springboard off of. Yeah... just like that.

The argument that these guys are presenting is absurd and they ought to be slapped.

But don't get me wrong. Dan Brown is still fucking awful. I was lucky enough to be able to borrow a previously purchased copy of the novel, but I still want my fucking $10.50 back for that piece of shit movie.

And as far as borrowing and stealing content goes...

I haven't read the historical work of Baigent and Leigh but considering what a perversion of literature The Davinci Code is, I would say that it's probably more like Brown raped Holy Blood and the Holy Grail of its content. But just like the attention seeking, slutty highschool cheerleader who gets involved with the head quarter-back , I bet they were asking for it. And, as everyone knows, in the world of Christian conspiracy theory - no means yes.

Amy Winehouse (aka the white Lauryn Hill)

She's been buzzing around for quite some time, but Amy Winehouse is on the brink of exploding. Her latest album Back to Black was released in the United States in October of 2006, but her latest single "Back to Black" is about to become her new hit and I just can't get enough.

Originally from the UK, Amy Winehouse is no looker. From every photo I've seen, she's either ghetto sultry or hippie ugly. From tattoos on her arms to the Monroe in her upper lip to the dramatic eye makeup, Winehouse portrays the outfit of a teeth-clenched gangster. However, listening to her album without seeing her face depicts nothing more than a young woman with a lot of issues. While listening to her sophomore album, she sounds like Lauryn Hill and....Lauryn Hill. Her voice is undoubtably the powerhouse white chick version of the famous Fugee. Although her voice is uncanny, her music sounds like Aretha Franklin.

Ok, so she's Aretha Franklin, Lauryn Hill, and to top it off, she's got the blues. Yes, more than one man has scorned this precious pile of ammunition and let off a raging woman drinking her way through each song. She's got a Janis Joplin in her too. Since her catchy tune, "Rehab", everyone has been talking about the girl who just says "no, no, no." And when there's hits, there's money. And when there's money, there's the hords of hot guys who want to bang her so she can write another amazing hit. I think it was Scarface who quoted it the best, "First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women." And so the cycle goes.

Here's some lyrics to her new single, "Back in Black":

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to

Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,
I go back to
I go back to

And so the ensuing number of days passes before this little lady becomes the biggest thing since, well, Lauryn Hill. I know I've been piling on the Lauryn Hill references throughout this little review, but I thought that the people should know. Maybe I should put more emphasis on Amy Winehouse. Ok, here it goes.

She's great. Listen to her voice and you will never guess it was coming from a British white girl. Listen to it again and you'll never think a woman could be so tortured by a man. Listen even further and you are awed at the amazing power of music to heal the human soul! (This might not be the case for everyone, but it's a definite for Amy Winehouse).

And I leave you with the video for her new single "Back to Black"

Robots dance better than I do.

Spoon is so good that even robots like them.

Modest Mouse: The Single vs. The Album

In a small part of Washington, a four-piece band returns in 2007 with their latest album since 2004 and Good News for People who Love Bad News.

We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank battles between itself and its latest single Dashboard. Who will the fans choose? After three years and a string of hits like "Float On" and "The Ocean Breathes Salty," Modest Mouse returns with the goodness of their albums before the commercial hits. The steady beat with the off-tune singing by Isaac Brock gives resonance in their latest album.

But this isn't a review just about the album. This is a battle of epic proportions. In a time when musicians are battling themselves over what will be a commercial hit and what is good music, Modest Mouse is faced with a dilemma. Will this album end up like their 2004 one? Or will it flourish with the fans and their good old days of This is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About?

Let's just say that the hit is a commercial hit while the rest of the album is for the fans. So the band makes a few bucks off the new hit "Dashboard" with a souped up music video including Brock as a sailor with a microphone for a hand and a giant fish. While that is in the process of becoming a legend, the rest of the album returns to its angst-like feel of their recent albums. Not beautiful, not ugly, We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank provides the long-lasting friends and fans with the music their used to hearing from Modest Mouse.

"Dashboard" talks about the good things in life. Even when you've got a huge hole in your windshield, at least there's still the nice breeze! Even when the dashboard is melted, you can listen to the radio. (this is Modest Mouse talking). The words resonate with orchestral background similar to sounds from Arcade Fire. It's no wonder this song has an awesome hit song lead.

To the commercialization: tell your friends that this ain't the album for them. It's not the album for you. Modest Mouse is back like a bad guy in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

Judge for yourself:
The album is in stores now and available on iTunes.
The single can be watched here:

Radiohead. Are. Mixing. Fuck. Yes.

You may or may not care but Radiohead recently updated their blog Dead Air Space. It's a pretty minimalist approach to giving information (the fuckers) but any news is good news right now.

I am so fucking excited for this record. I already love the songs they've written so it's only a matter of time before I can blast them in my car!

Thewayofthefuture...thewayofthefuture...thewayofthefuture...

If you know me then you know what a boner I get for cool architecture. So when I saw this new design that is being built in Singapore, I freaked. I wonder what it's going to cost to live in this thing.


You can read about it here.

TMNT...or so they say

I saw the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle last night. and I honestly have to say that I liked it. The story is not as gripping as the ones from before, but it's got the grip to it.

What happens is that it's years after the turtles destroyed their nemesis, Shredder. Leonardo has been away in Latin America training to be a better leader. Donatello is a 24 hour IT tech service guy. Michaelangelo dresses up like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and shows up a birthday parties for kids. Basically, they've all reached retirement (which is what usually goes when you've killed your nemesis). Suddenly, a myth 3000 years old is revived as a man with eternal life wants to end the tragedy of living forever and return all of the evil monsters and crap back to where they came from.

So this is the entire story. It's almost like that movie Thirteen Ghosts. There's some dude who has to find 13 monsters who he unleashed 3000 years ago and put them back where they belong. He's also got a crazy gaggle of stone soldiders who help the FOOT clan (yeah they're back too) capture these 13 monsters.

The bad guy turned out to be the good guy and the good guys for the bad guy turned out to be the bad guys. The foot clan helps the turtes and the turtles....learn to be better brothers?

Honestly, I thought the movie was really fast to get to the ending. The last fighting scene wasn't as interesting as watching grown men in turtle costumes and it was just blah.

Let's just say they need a new movie with those old costumes. Yeah, that would be sweet.

Man plays guitar with feet.

Maybe you've run into this guy: the musician who is talking about some other ultra talented musician and they say "This person is so good that it makes me want to quit music altogether."

I hate that guy. Why would you do that? And why would you say that? I hate you.

This is for that guy.

The best documentaries on the internet. For free!

My friend Adam recently brought to my attention this amazing website that has compiled the best documentaries that people have posted to Google video. This is enough to make me throw my television out the window, not that I ever watch the thing anyway. Go learn something.

Wikipedia founder was co-writer of R.Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet"

Mwahaha. No, he wasn't. But it would be kind of funny if someone went ahead and edited his Wiki-profile to say so. In reality he seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders.

Go read him playing 10 Questions.

Discovered some new music people should get into because I said so!

His name is...Eluvium, and he plays...well, everything. While at the Explosions in the Sky show, I walked in on his performance as one of their openers. I had sampled a bit of his music and thought he sounded very melodic. He had the pianos going, and the electronic thing, but I had no idea he was the only guy that was doing all the sounds.

Under the same label as Explosions in the Sky, Eluvium is doing a tour with them for the rest of the year. I honestly had no idea what was about to arise. I thought I was going to hear just another shitty band play the opener for another success story, but sometimes I love being wrong.

He rocks back and forth like a strung out heroine addict, strumming notes on a guitar in his lap. Then, he reaches over to his panel of buttons and lights to distort the sound. Almost like Explosions in the Sky, but with more cable cords. All the music generates from is a piano keyboard and a mixer. It's almost surprising to see the power of sound emerge from such a tiny instrument.

Of course there was the slide show of pictures to compliment the music, but he tricks us with a single image on repeat. Birds flying out from the tops of roofs. It was all a spectacle. The best part was the singular blue light on him. He played on the far right of the stage. It was almost as if he didn't want to make a big deal of his presence. And when it was all over, he just unplugged his macbook and walked off stage. Here's a sample of his music. It's not much, but you can get a feel. Melodic, tragic, almost sadly beautiful. Thanks to YouTube, Keith and I can provide you with music without having to be sued by companies or ASCAP.

Explosion of my mind

Watching Explosions in the Sky has got to be some sort of out-of-mind experience. Not only was it crazy to watch them rock out on the songs from their albums, but it was an amazing spectacle. Most of the time the two guitarists Munaf Rayani and Mark Smith wail the shit out of their instruments. They sat on the dirty stage for most of the show playing with the different nobs and buttons on their Guinness World Records' worthy number of pedals. It's amazing enough that this is just a four-piece band with no other instruments than the guitars, bass, and drummer. I'm just shocked is all.

As you can tell, I watched the show from above. Nervous that the balcony would come crashing down, I listened to their music with the feedback screeching in my ears. Unlike most times, this is the feedback that you want to listen to. The crowd was still; only their heads can be seen in the darkness. The sound is undescribable. If you know what Explosions in the Sky sounds like, you still wouldn't have a clue what their live concert would be.



Thanks to YouTube, I found a performance from last night's show. Can you hear the loud booming bass that probably fucked up the microphone? God, if only you could see them live.

What the hell do you want from me? I'm just a musician!

Brittany Abbott recently checked out a Camera Obscura performance in Seattle. You can read her review here. While this band doesn't exactly write music that you would want to work out to, there's really no excuse for a tired live performance. Playing in front of an audience is the point where you're supposed transform your music, regardless of what it sounds like, into a full emotional and physical experience. People go to see bands so they can be moved.

I think.

But sometimes this doesn't work out. Tired band. Tired audience. But who's fault is it? If there is one thing I've learned in my 22 years it's that you can ALWAYS blame someone.

In a live show, the expectation is for a performance to improve on a recorded version, to take it up a notch, to add something that was missing from the album experience.

For the most part I agree with this statement. Camera Obscura has got to achieve some kind of transcendence when they play live. All bands do. But I wonder if live performance is really meant to provide something that is, as Ms. Abbott writes, is "missing from the album experience." Shouldn't they be two entirely different beasts? When we go to see a band live are we really looking for something more, or is it something else? I feel like it's the latter, but I could be wrong so perhaps this is worth exploring. By the way, this is the sort of shit I think about when I'm sitting alone in my room. And I invite you to come think about it with me. Hop on.

When you listen to a record, it's just you and the songs. Unless you happen to be doing something else while you listen, which believe it or not is going to have a drastic effect on what you think about that record. But for argument's sake we'll say you like to sit in the dark with headphones on. You're listening to the words and the music and ascribing them to your own experience. The images and emotions that they evoke are your own - entirely seperated from the performer of the piece of music. And yet you're still hearing their version of the song. That's art. Big deal, nothing new and nothing special. Get on with it.

The live performance is in fact a very different entity. So do we go to a live show to be connected to the performer? Or do we feel, somehow, that we can increase our own connection to the song (and all the feelings we've associated with it while sitting alone in the dark on a friday night while everyone else is out being social)? If we're going to get closer to the performer's take of a song, then clearly the most important role is theirs. Not only does Camera Obscura have to play well but they they have to allow their audience in - into the spectacle, into the emotion they put into the performance. What I'm talking about is the audience and the band becoming seamless. This, of course isn't going to happen when you start off like this:

"We've been on tour for four weeks," announced Camera Obscura singer Tracyanne Campbell, "and I've had a great time, but my throat doesn't like it."

I really think in situations like this one, it's best for the performer to pretend they are at the top of their game. It's all attitude anyway. Giving excuses isn't very rock and roll, and no amount of

...dreamy production, with layered harmonies, swelling organs, and lavish string arrangements...

is going to save Camera Obscura and their ilk from the traditional expectations of an audience coming to see a rock band. But maybe it's not the band's fault.

Let's take for example this precious little scene that one could just as easily find in every single NYC venue on any given night:

"I Need All the Friends I Can Get" cried out for the crowd to clap along, and they did so willingly at first, before dying out quickly. "You have to keep clapping," Campbell scolded, "or it doesn't work. Even the lazy people in the back." And she was right- the clapping died out again, and it didn't work.

Let's say the audience could care less about the band as people, or performers. They just want to FEEL these songs they love. After all, it's live so it's probably louder. You really CAN feel the songs if the venue has a half decent sub-woofer. So in that case the audience has a lot more work to do than simply sit there. Maybe they're the ones who have to open up to what's being thrown at them.

"What the fuck, guys? You paid money to come see us and now you're just going to STAND THERE? Don't you people know how to have a good time? We're trying our best here!" This is undoubtedly what was going through the band's collective brain. I'm not a mind reader but I'd bet money on it. If you've got a crowd that isn't exactly having the best time, why wouldn't they simply do whatever they could to make their experience better? Why's this so hard to do?

The beauty of Abbott's talent as a show reviewer is in her ability to really paint a full picture. We soon discover that there's maybe a third culprit:

Another possible strike was the new layout of the club. A policy of an all ages floor with 21+ bar in the balcony had been replaced by two noisy bars near the stage on the main floor and underage club goers relegated to the balcony area. The boisterous bar noise, usually reserved for the back of a club, was brought front and center and was distracting at times. Even the band took time to note the new setup, which changed since the last time they visited Seattle.

But I remain unconvinced. The most that a crap venue can do is obscure the line between band and audience (no pun intended... alright, that's a lie). Abbott is right about something missing from a recording, though it isn't loud volume and it isn't overpriced beer. It's a dialogue.

They have to take cues from one another. The audience has to be receptive to the band's performance and the band in turn has to be willing to push themselves hard enough to get that performance to be emotionally affecting. When this happens, you get something I like to think of as a brand new element to the music. It's not the fan's interpretation, and it's not the band's interpretation but it's whatever the fuck happened on that night in that venue. In this case, it was at Neumo's on Feb. 12, 2007. Seems like common sense, right? It shouldn't go wrong, but it does. Like all dialogues, things can get misunderstood, muffled, fucked up. The great thing is that all it takes is a tiny spark to set things right again.

The show ended well, according to the reviewer. At some point during the performance that seamless quality of a great live show ended up taking over.

It was a brilliant ending to an overall lackluster evening. If the old showbiz maxim is true, that you should always leave them wanting more, then Camera Obscura was a success. It's just unfortunate that we only wanted more of the last few songs.

Ends justify the means. Sure, sure. Or was it a bittersweet ending? And who's to blame?

Well, I think that's obvious.

This asshole.

And because this is a *music* blog. I now present you with brilliance.

Deerhoof had to grow on me. I tried to get into "Reveille" months ago and while "The Last Trumpeter Swan" is probably one of my favorite songs of recent memory the rest of it was difficult to grasp onto. And it's usually true that we need to be in the right frame of mind to appreciate certain things. So probably I wasn't. But it's also possible that I had not been exposed to the right thing first, which is a phenonmenon that really interests me. If the first song you ever hear by, let's say, Sonic Youth is not the RIGHT song you're just going to have this bad taste in your mouth (ears?) that will carry over into further listening. And yet maybe 6 months down the road that song is just what you need to listen to in order to get excited. But yeah, it's got to be the right music.

When I listened to "Friend Opportunity," I finally was able to break into the world of Deerhoof. I can't say that the record is any more accessible than what they've done in the past. "Accessibility" is dumb concept anyway. It always really comes down to hearing the right song at the right place at the right time.

So yeah, Deerhoof - since you asked nicely, I'll be friends with you.

"Friend Opportunity" is a really good record. It's loud and it's wild and even at 40 minutes (which for me is a LONG record) it doesn't feel drawn out. It's over before you know it actually. Anyway, that's about as much of a review as you're going to ever get out of me. I'm not going to form your opinions for you. Let these guys do that. Or these guys. But for a little bit of journalism that won't shame you into liking new music check out this really cool interview that was done over at Junk Media.

I'm just about ready to try "Reveille" one more time. I don't know if there will be any difference for me this time around but now that I understand the language Deerhoof speaks a little better, I think it will be.

Just so you get a better idea of the kind of fun to be found in "Friend Opportunity," here's an mp3. I don't know what the single was but this is my favorite on the record. This is a song that you ought to listen to if you are cool enough to strut down the street. They should have named it Believe P.I.M.P. The bit with the "ahhhhhhs" from the male vocalist makes me feel pretty damn cool. I won't post two songs because who knows if there's any legal trouble awaiting me for this one upload but "Cast Off Crown" is also really good.

As for Megaupload, Just type in the security code, wait the few seconds and then click the download button. If a small box pops up over the download button simply close it. Here you go:

Deerhoof - Believe E.S.P

No. No... NO. NO.NONONONONO!

This cannot happen. I will not have it. There's got to be someone I write to about this? Not you, Emma.... Not you.

So this blog is mostly supposed to be a music blog (yeah, I know, ok?!). I never wanted to trail stupid celebrity gossip because a. there are plenty of other places for you to find that information and b. it just doesn't interest me. But I couldn't pass this up. It would appear that Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame has lost that spark. And no, I don't mean THAT. You perv. Lev Grossman reports:

I'm hearing a lot of guff about Emma Watson waffling over whether she's going to be in the last two Harry Potter movies, but I'm still waiting for the news story that will clear up what exactly her damage is. I mean, is she (understandably) freaked out about being stalked? Is this one of those hardball salary moves actors sometimes pull (supposedly they upped their offer to 2 mil)? Or is she just too cool for magic school, as per her co-star Rupert "Weasley Is Our King" Grint: "Emma doesn't want to do it anymore. She's tired of being known as 'that girl from Harry Potter.'"

Welcome to watching some of last bits of my childhood flying away and never coming back. I'm on my way to 22 so even if I'm not too old for this shit (nobody ever is), I can't help but FEEL like I'm too old for this shit. Who gave these kids the goddamn right to grow up too?

When comics don't mean to be funny, but are anyway.

Often times the language used in comic books is so dated that entirely new and hilarious meanings can be derived from particular panels. Someone over at the awesome Yesbutnobutyes blog has compiled a few of the best comic history has to offer. This one is my favorite:

I find it hard to believe that the writers and artists weren't chuckling as they inserted this into that particular issue. But if they were dead serious about it then it only makes it funnier.

And it would appear that Lois is not the only person into robots. I think I have a new favorite word: technosexual.

He's the definition of a "prodigy"

As my arts journalism professor says, "there's a lack of genius in the world."

Well, we're not living with the exact definition of Mozart or Beethoven, but there is definitely some "prodigies" left. Take for example, young Benyamin. This kid is about ten-years-old and his favorite musician happens to be wife-beating Yanni. Domestic violence aside, the boy can definitely play. Not only is he skillful at the piano doing covers of Yanni songs, but this kid can also compose. He's been pretty popular with the YouTube crowd so I'm hoping a lot of you have listened/watched his stuff.



Yanni has definitely met his match. For only a ten-year-old, this kid wails on the piano. So my professor was wrong. There are geniuses left in this world, even in pint-size shapes. If Benyamin was a candy bar, I think he would be a Snickers. Each bite you take of him is a new surprise of rich caramel and peanut goodness. Ok, that sounded a bit on the child pornographic side, but you know what I mean. He's good. He's more than good. He's a fucking prodigy for crying out loud!

You can see him sway with the music. His ears are deeply concentrating on the sound of the music; his eyes are closed to feel the passion behind the notes. I mean, this kid's got gumption. Luckily for him, his parents are good with keeping the camera by their upright piano. The modesty of the background in the video shows that he's just some average kid. He's no super million with a crazy white grand piano and chandeliers. He's some average kid who even dresses up for Halloween.



Ok, I won't go as far as saying that he's Superman. I don't think genius comes with super-human powers like x-ray vision or being faster than a speeding bullet. Even if you don't listen to Yanni or any of the new age music that's been surging through its own little grapevine, he's got to be praised. I don't think that he'll come out with an album or anything anytime soon, but I hope Yanni is watching YouTube. That would just make a kid's day.

To hear more of his stuff click here

Old Blogs

So I wrote this blog entry on an old website that I created. It didn't go so well over there, but I'm hoping it will over here. Luckily, it's more of a comparison between two species of party-er. Hope you enjoy this baby:

May 5, 2006

There happens to be an elite group of people out there. Far within the reaches and territories of Long Island City or Williamsburg, New York. Like a community of their own, they develop their style by being a group of poor-ass bitches listening to a shitload of music and wondering where the day goes after drinking ten cups of coffee, smoking two packs of cigarettes, and buying thirty lps.

They are hipsters.
And I am not one of them.

Instead, I'm the watered-down equivalent. Brandishing a notebook, thick-rimmed glasses, my ipod and a pair of cons, I will explore the underworld known as "hipster." Or not to hurt the community, "artists."

First entry: Misshapes kids vs. those Party Monsters.



You know, google images is so helpful especially when you're trying to find some pictures. I put in the word "misshapes" and this is the first picture that comes up. I'm excited. It's that dj guy and some other girl that looks like the dj guy. Or are they both djs? I wouldn't know. I went to misshapes once. Probably go again because i'm a big toolbar. I would like to thank papermag.com for this lovely photo. Damn, I wish i were that skinny. I would have to STOP EATING to get that thin. damn the metabolism of most 20 somethings.

Well, this photo demonstrates the power of the "hipster". Eyeless, fatless, passionless. LOOK AT THE DISPASSION WITHIN THEIR EYES. Either that's from caring about nothing in the world or doing too many party drugs. I'm guessing party drugs. And although, they can't be considered "party monsters," they've got the joie de vive. The drive to be one. What I think: If those "party monsters" had kids, they would go to Misshapes.

Then again, I could be wrong. After all, those party monsters could have had children within their busy schedules: wake up around 3 in the afternoon, smoke a bowl, make some hash brownies, eat the brownies, do some coke, buy a shirt for the party tonight, wear only the shirt, go to the party, get wasted, do more coke, probably pass out in the bathroom, wake up and fuck someone, do more coke, go home, sleep until 12 in the afternoon, do some heroine, go back to sleep. It's a pretty mundane day, if you ask me. I would assume there would be some action like eat real food.

What am I referring to? Well, I'm just some sad 20 something with no life. I have no joie de vive so I find amusement in others. There is no fight. If anything, it's a generation thing. Yeah, blame it on the generations. I mean, Misshapes is a cool party. If you like being rubbed up against some sweaty 20 somethings while dancing through the loud new wave music, then yeah. Misshapes is the place for you. Then you've got characters like these:

Yeah, that's serious breeding between the species.

The new(som)est love of my life.

Here's my last post for the morning. I really ought to shower.








It seems to me that people are either hot or cold when it comes to Joanna Newsom. Upon playing her music for friends I've gotten responses such as

She sounds like a demon.

to

She makes my skin crawl.

and my favorite...

Her voice is the sound of kittens being murdered.

But the people who do love her music LOVE her music. You only need to take a trip over to any number of 'Song Meanings' sites where there are pages and pages of people analyzing "Emily" or "Peach, Plum, Pear." She's quite the overachiever when it comes to song lyrics - you will more than likely need to consult a dictionary at least once.

Her talent on the harp is also noteworthy. Most people don't know much about the instrument but I had the pleasure of dating a harpist and after showing her "The Sprout and the Bean" she came to the conclusion that

Her fingerings made me horny.

I personally have never heard a vocalist, female or otherwise who is as daring as she is when it comes to melodies or inflection. This is especially true on her second record, "Ys." The Joanna Newsom on that one is much more mature and free than the one on "The Milk Eyed Mender." It's to my understanding that she was still working out the kinks as she recorded the first record. She got so damn good at singing and all you need to do is listen to "Monkey and Bear" to realize that she's kind of fucking amazing. Unless you think she makes the skin of dead kittens scrawl.

Anyway, all singers are supposed to paint a picture with their voice but I think she has broken past forming those pictures on a flat canvas and added a Pixar-esque third dimension.

With that said, I'll direct you to one of her music videos. It was my own starting point and I think it's a good one.



Enjoy.

Maybe these guys ought to weed out domestic terrorists...

These are REAL pros.

Russian Exorcisms

Documentary on Iran

This is something I watched a couple weeks ago. Well, to be fair I watched about half of it because the second half wouldn't load up. So I'm going to try and finish it on another computer because it is absolutely worth it. If you've got some time to kill I highly recommend this. You'll learn something. Maybe.



Rageh might seem harmless but he's actually quite ruthless in his efforts to crack the people of this oft-misunderstood country.

Not really old news. But if you hadn't noticed...

And there's no reason why you would have noticed because this sort of shit doesn't go public often enough. The FBI is under investigation for, well... investigations they've made. They've been going a little crazy with the rights granted by the Patriotic Act. I'm going to go ahead and make the decision that none of this should surprise you anymore, by the way. 2007 must be the Chinese 'Year of the Scandal,' so here another courtesy of Time.com:

In 2000, the FBI issued an estimated 8,500 requests. That number peaked in 2004 with 56,000. Overall, the FBI reported issuing 143,074 requests in national security letters between 2003 and 2005. In 2005, 53 percent were for records of U.S. citizens or permanent residents.

In a sampling of 77 case files in four FBI field offices, Fine discovered an additional 8,850 requests that were never recorded in the FBI's database, and he estimated there were many more nationwide.
The 48 possible violations Fine uncovered included failing to get proper authorization, making improper requests under the law and unauthorized collection of telephone or Internet e-mail records.

You can read the rest of the article here:

The FBI's Been Bad, Bad, Bad.

Village Ultragrrrl

I just finished reading an article about Ultragrrrl on the Village Voice Website. She's the cover for the past week and this week she will be replaced by something depressing like the war in Iraq. But for this week, she's the witch of the west burned at the stake.

I don't think she's worthy enough to get the treatment of a Salem witch, but perhaps it's suiting for her. If you know Ultragrrrl then you know about her scandalous job: she's into music. For the first time in the history of rock (I'm making this up), a girl with no musical background, no writing background, no nothing, is praised for having the greatest ears in music today. She can hear a band and instantly know if they're any good. If she's into them, then the whole country will be? I find that to be a little bit absurd. Perhaps it's my bitterness that's getting the better of me, but I have been working my ASS off to get recognition not only as a music critic, but as a musician as well. So my musician days are over, at least I still keep the dream alive to be involved with music in any way possible: I chose to be a critic.

And Ultragrrrl could probably stir a crowd of less-than-average hipsters. I'm surprised that all it took for her to become someone who record execs listen to was for her to say "this is bullshit" or something like that. Here's a quote from her ever-coveted-but-people-think-she's-a-poser-to-have-a-blog blog:

i'm back from south by south west (aka sxsw), and boy is my body aching me. let me explain something to you about sxsw -- it's basically a ton of people in the music industry, converging onto austin like ants to a pile of shit. in this case, the shit is replaced by free booze, bbq, and band... we're all still fucking ants though. little, creepy, crawling ants pissing in a port-a-potty and making out in a back alley.

Words of wisdom. These are fucking pearls right here. Unfortunately, my stance with Ultragrrrl is flip-flopping like Kerry in the 2004 elections. I'm not really sure what to think of this girl. Yeah, she's cool to introduce all these bands into the music scene, but she is also a menace to society for a lot of people.

So in summation: I think she's alright in my book. Don't mind my wish-washy conditions.

Ultragrrrl's (aka Sarah's) online blog can be found here:

sarah's so boring ever since she stopped drinking

Not quite Ace Ventura... but better...

Blonde Redhead. Where do I begin?

How about this: I've seen them a total of three times and this coming May I will be able to add a fourth show to the list. They're touring in support of their upcoming record "23.". Their label 4AD has released the title track as a promo for free and here is the link for it:

Blonde Redhead - 23

I have grown to love the Blonde Redhead that could groove and hypnotize you on "Misery Is a Butterfly" and it seems to me that they're getting better at doing that. Show number IV looks seems like it's going to be impressiveeeeeeee.

Got some Asia

Bobby Lee has got to be one of the funniest guys on MadTV. I was talking about this with my parents the other day. They don't understand his jokes because he's not from the same generation as them. I, on the other hand, have deep knowledge of second generation childhoods. Yes, I speak broken Korean but I can definitely eat myself a bowl of Ja Jang Myun. I just had to show people the coolness of Asia.

Speaking of Asians, I have been listening to this musician named Susumu Hirasawa. If you've ever seen the new trailer for the movie Paprika then your ears have been dazzled by the techno-ish sounds of his music. Sadly, his videos are extremely lame. I think he thinks he's a robot of some sort because he keeps on singing with this giant robot body. In the one video, Logic Airforce I think he has the body of an airplane. Seriously, he's got some robot issues. But I won't bore you with his old music and I'll focus on this awesome song called The Girl in Byakkoya.

I'll give you the trailer for the movie rather than the music video because it's got some weird flying ball of light and you have to watch Hirasawa's 50-year-old body fit into a pair of tight leather pants. People should go see this movie too. That is, if you like anime or really good illustration. If you're really into the song, you can also go to his website and download for free. Hirasawa thought that this particular song as well as another should be entirely free. So take it while the grabs are still grabbing: Susumu Hirasawa

La Dolce Vita? (a tired rant from Simone)

It don't seem so sweet when you've got Sylvia prancing around. Yeah, I was watching La Dolce Vita today. What I realized was how Italy (or mostly Fellini) regards America as these outlandish spectacles. If they're taking their cues from characters like Sylvia, then we are baffoons. We dance to crazy latin beats and listen to Elvis. That's what sort of bugs me. Why do a lot of Europeans regard Americans and their music as some sort of gimmick?

Yeah so a lot of the really good musicians come out of Europe (Thom Yorke, Sigur Ros, Pink Floyd, The Who, Kylie Minogue?), but that doesn't mean that Americans fall short to creating their own brand of good music.

I change my mind. Americans are like Sylvia. Yeah, we don't run around in ponds all day, but did you notice her attraction to sounds? From the running water in the classic fountain theme to the howling with the coyotes, it's all diligent listening to the sound. I bet you nothing that Robbie Williams writes will ever sound like that. So I say to hell with all you European musicians because America is musical too!

(Wait, Sylvia's swedish. Damn, another ABBA hit.)

Banana terrorism.

Here is something to be pissed off about:

Bananas fuel terror.

Shit, I like bananas. Love them, even.
Banana splits. Banana milkshakes. Peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

I guess President Bush does too.

The best black and white film to ever play in your head...

This is what you see when you listen to Tarantula A.D. - Book of Sand. A record without voices, for the most part. Electric violins, violently loud guitars, let's play classical bits, and how about some metal riffs, and oh! let's throw in a quiet interlude with a harp and a saw but end it by hammering out some more metal riffs? yeah I like that.

i can only think of a post world war I europe, young soldiers returning home, bored, disillusioned and deciding to trek across the continent to the sands of egypt or the mountains of spain in search of whatever.

and meeting a gorgeous, but dangerous woman along the way - the song "Sealake" is my strongest recommendation for download. It is absolutely beautiful.

Go here:

Preistbird (Ex-Tarantula A.D.) Myspace.

The band changed their name to Priest Bird for unknown reasons. And by 'unknown reasons' I mean that I was too lazy to look it up. It doesn't matter. Book of Sand is under their previous (and cooler) name.

oh, and in my version of the film the soldiers never find what it was they were looking for. no, they end up losing all their money. shooting their best friend in a parisian hotel. committing suicide by jumping under a train.

Maybe you will have a happier ending.

Our answering machine message.

Hey, this is Keith!

and this is Simone!

(both) And this is our blog!